Saturday, October 4, 2008

My Life with Orenthal

I just heard that O. J. Simpson has been found guilty of armed robbery and kidnapping at his trial in Las Vegas. You know what I've been doing every weekend and vacation for the past ten years? Helping O. J. You see, when he was declared innocent of murdering his wife and her friend in Los Angeles, he announced that he would spend the rest of his life in constant search for the real killer, that he would and could not rest until he found the murderer. I volunteered to assist O. J., and he accepted. So for the past decade, the Juice and I have been crisscrossing the country and its many golf courses, sleeping in seedy hotel rooms (to save money for the long haul), consulting with police authorities, tracking down leads, staking out suspects, etc. It wasn't easy, it wasn't pretty, it wasn't cheap. The only thing which kept me going was O. J.'s commitment to his original promise to keep searching. But yesterday he was blocked by that blasted legal entanglement in Vegas. Ah, but the bright side: now O.J. and I can finally get some rest---something like being called into the Big Timeout.

-Old Doc

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You know, I read the other day that, through this latter trial and albeit inadvertently, OJ finally did bring the real killers to justice.

Anonymous said...

Try to think back and see if you can remember this one? The year was 1993. The biggest problems in the world wanted to be untied shoes and bubblegum. Then the not so Old Doc seemed to publish a strange warning.
"My name is Harvey.
I am Satan.
I am coming to get you Student.
So you had better run."
Very nice.

J.V. Toups said...

Harvey I am now reading your blog.