As you know, I love irony. Irony is President Obama accepting the Nobel Peace Prize while simultaneously expanding winless wars. But who am I to talk? I myself believe that God is simultaneously immanent and transcendent; that Sarah Palin is simultaneously as cute as a button and as dumb as a door nail; and that the Three Stooges were simultaneously funny and a threat to the American way of life.
-Old Gargoyle
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
An Angry Gargoyle
What? Thirty-thousand more American troops to be sent to Afghanistan? Is Obama nuts? Hasn't our government learned anything from Korea and Vietnam? Dear Lord, the U.S. military will be in those two hellholes, Afghanistan and Iraq, for another four to eight years! When and if all troops leave, it will be after an ambiguous outcome at best. Meanwhile, absent a resurrected military draft, it'll be the same physically and emotionally exhausted soldiers fighting on and on in those countries while their families are torn apart back home. Thousands of young American men and women killed and maimed for life---what a godawful scene. I wish we had a U.S. President, Defense Secretary, and security advisors who would realize that the best we can do with such wars in the future is to use extensive air and naval power for a limited time, and not to get our foot soldiers bogged down in such quicksand. Why is our government so arrogant and naive in thinking that democracy can be implanted in those Asian countries, and in thinking that "nation building" is what soldiers should do best? Professional soldiers are professional killers (in the good sense of the term)---that's what they do best.
What baffles me, furthermore, is how, after the U.N. itself, the American Catholic bishops, and the Vatican itself urged the U.S. on moral grounds not to invade Af'stan and Iraq, we no longer hear any complaints or criticisms by the American bishops or pastors. On the contrary, it's back to "blessing the troops" as in the old days. And where are the public protests by young Americans against these wars? Would it take the renewed draft to finally budge them? (Maybe everyone under 30 could be notified by Twitter or whatever that the draft was restored.) I spent five years of successful anti-Vietnam draftdodging and sabotaging in Canada only to live to see this mess again? Jeez, our national security is not threatened by rag-tag radicals in the mountains of Af'stan. Terrorists are already present in many other countries including our own. Declare that we've done our best, immediately bring home all our soldiers, and use at least a portion of the saved money to improve homeland security and intelligence operations where it's really needed. Education, health, scientific research, etc. would welcome the remainder of the diverted money.
Oh well, no one listens to the Old Gargoyle anymore.
-Old Gargoyle
What baffles me, furthermore, is how, after the U.N. itself, the American Catholic bishops, and the Vatican itself urged the U.S. on moral grounds not to invade Af'stan and Iraq, we no longer hear any complaints or criticisms by the American bishops or pastors. On the contrary, it's back to "blessing the troops" as in the old days. And where are the public protests by young Americans against these wars? Would it take the renewed draft to finally budge them? (Maybe everyone under 30 could be notified by Twitter or whatever that the draft was restored.) I spent five years of successful anti-Vietnam draftdodging and sabotaging in Canada only to live to see this mess again? Jeez, our national security is not threatened by rag-tag radicals in the mountains of Af'stan. Terrorists are already present in many other countries including our own. Declare that we've done our best, immediately bring home all our soldiers, and use at least a portion of the saved money to improve homeland security and intelligence operations where it's really needed. Education, health, scientific research, etc. would welcome the remainder of the diverted money.
Oh well, no one listens to the Old Gargoyle anymore.
-Old Gargoyle
Wise Guys
People ask me, "Gargoyle, you're old and, er, wise. What do you think eternity is like?"
"Well," I reply, "eternity is like Chris Matthews interviewing Joe Biden."
-Old Gargoyle
"Well," I reply, "eternity is like Chris Matthews interviewing Joe Biden."
-Old Gargoyle
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Save Time and Money
Fantastic. I've always wanted to have some superpower, but I've never been given any nor been able to develop any. But now I discover that the little woman has a superpower: She can make time stand still! Yesterday she dragged me to JoAnn's Frabric Store for the afternoon,and it felt as if I spent a whole week there.
-Old Gargoyle
-Old Gargoyle
Hear Ye, Hear Ye
Arrggh, again I've had to grit my teeth and grip my pew in church. Lectors (readers), guest speakers, and even many clergypersons simply don't know how to handle a microphone in a large building such as a big church. As any professional speech teacher would insist to them, they have to speak LOUDLY, even though they're speaking into a mike which amplifies the voice---because their tendency is to speak too softly, thinking the mike will automatically make them heard. Next, they have to speak s l o w l y, because talking in the normal speed on a mike in a large setting simply combines with too much echo which distorts what is heard. Thirdly, they must speak dis-tinct-ly, not slurring, not running certain words too closely together. Combine these three violations with a clergyman or homilist for whom English is his or her secondary language, and you have auditory disaster.
Moreover, why do we keep allowing in the pulpit as readers those laypersons who aren't trained not only in oral delivery but also in the meaning of the scripture they're reading? Today my lector announces a reading from Paul's letter to the "Philippinos" instead of the Philippians. Well, I guess in light of the recent hurricane floods in those islands, the Philippinos could use a good word. And I'm reminded of another lector who recently, in reading the Old Testament story of the prophet grabbing a brazier (a lighted torch) to light the open-air animal sacrifice, said that the prophet was wielding a "brassiere." No one in the congregation flinched nor reacted upon hearing this. Shows you how much worshippers pay attention to the scripture readings, I guess.
What? What are you asking? Oh, come on. Alright, alright---yes, they were; the two readers I mention were bleached blonds.
-Old Gargoyle
Moreover, why do we keep allowing in the pulpit as readers those laypersons who aren't trained not only in oral delivery but also in the meaning of the scripture they're reading? Today my lector announces a reading from Paul's letter to the "Philippinos" instead of the Philippians. Well, I guess in light of the recent hurricane floods in those islands, the Philippinos could use a good word. And I'm reminded of another lector who recently, in reading the Old Testament story of the prophet grabbing a brazier (a lighted torch) to light the open-air animal sacrifice, said that the prophet was wielding a "brassiere." No one in the congregation flinched nor reacted upon hearing this. Shows you how much worshippers pay attention to the scripture readings, I guess.
What? What are you asking? Oh, come on. Alright, alright---yes, they were; the two readers I mention were bleached blonds.
-Old Gargoyle
Extra, Extra, Read All about It
The stupid newspaper office in Dover has refused to give me a newspaper route (see my blog below). Something about the weirdness of riding a fifty-year-old bike to deliver papers in this day and age. As if newspapers could be delivered from a car---ha. Something too about the potential danger and liability and inefficiency of my having only one seeing eye and only seven fingers (see another blog below).
To hell with them! Once a newspaper boy, always a newspaper boy!
-Old Gargoyle
To hell with them! Once a newspaper boy, always a newspaper boy!
-Old Gargoyle
Bells of St. Mary
I hear no church bells where I now live. Well, I do hear the ones every early morning---and they wake me too early and the neighbors also complain and I'm spearheading a lawsuit against the church's pastor and it's costing a bunch of money and you should contribute to our fund because I know that you too like to sleep late and we have a pretty good chance of winning and the clergymen in the area are bunching up against us and we'll have the A.C.L.U. on our side and it's all a big mess and don't get me started on this---but I don't hear any in the early evening the way I did when I was a kid.
Back then, the bells would ring at 6:00 p.m., every day, marking the approach of dusk, the end of the work day, and suppertime. When I was that young, it would also mark the time that my father would come home from his job either by car or even by foot, and he never was late. My brother and I would be delighted to hear the bells, because we knew that the things I mentioned were at hand, especially Dad's return. Even at my embarrassingly advanced age, I still miss my non-late/late father.
-Old Gargoyle
Back then, the bells would ring at 6:00 p.m., every day, marking the approach of dusk, the end of the work day, and suppertime. When I was that young, it would also mark the time that my father would come home from his job either by car or even by foot, and he never was late. My brother and I would be delighted to hear the bells, because we knew that the things I mentioned were at hand, especially Dad's return. Even at my embarrassingly advanced age, I still miss my non-late/late father.
-Old Gargoyle
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