Hymns and Hers

I'm finally going to church this Sunday. Why "finally"? Because someone gave me extra tickets. "Tickets" to go to church? Yes. Actually, I'll be going to the cathedral downtown---the contemporary one in American society. Even though it's the cathedral, it's not old---indeed, it's only twenty years old, and is rebuilt and replaced by a new one every twenty or so, it seems. It's the same situation in every major city. The cathedral has a movable dome, and it seats 80,000. The priests appear on the sanctuary, called the field, dressed in their special vestments of bright colors. These priests are divided into two opposing groups, one local and one visiting, and named after gods called fierce animals or frightful humans. They begin their sacrificial ritual of running, hitting, tackling each other with a great spirit of competition and verocity. Each group tries to demonstrate that the gods of its own city are superior to the gods of the city of the opposing group. The faithful of the congregation, seated in the raised pews, yell and cheer their own city's gods and its priests, and condemn the other gods as idolatrous. Scantily clad acolyte virgins called cheerleaders, meanwhile, boost in whatever way they can the spirit of their own team of priests. Basically, it's a liturgy which celebrates what America worships: sex and violence.

-Old Doc