I make no bones about it: I'm a member of the Luddite Society, U.F.O. Society, Flat-Earth Society, and Monarchy Society, among others. Those meetings have been a little more exciting than my meetings with my local A.A.R.P. and A.A.A. chapters. Then it struck me: The employment market is so lousy, and I need a job so badly, why not milk these organizations for some help?
The U.F.O. Society gave me the best advice. It involves going to a certain farm area tonight near Aheadofrepoman, where U.F.O.'s recently were spotted, carrying a large flashlight. The Society's assistant grand dragon worked out a communication pattern which I can use with the flashlight to attract at least a small alien spaceship. From there, it's on to temporary work with good pay, I'm sure (since I'll show them my membership card), with the aliens. I just hope they overlook my poor computer skills, and appreciate some other talent. Lord, I pray that they have a sense of humor, and that none of them has its shirt untucked.
Well, if you don't hear from me for awhile, just look to the night sky.