Gotta love biting into "The Onion." One of its headlines: "Happiness Now Found Only on TV Game Shows." I agree---except for the slice of happiness which comes from my nightly six sleep pills and eight wake-up pills.
The Old Gargoyle is a cranky old pessimist, former anvil polisher and former bodyguard for Fats Domino, and currently President and C.E.O. of Tic-Doc Productions, who thinks he is humorous or witty. Please do not encourage him. And while you are in this blog room, please do not touch nor disturb anything---it would only upset him. Furthermore, he frequently naps, so be QUIET when you enter and leave.