A so-so Christmas. I received fruitcakes from two different readers just in time before the holiday, which was good. I received from Singapore my new cane for caning and just in time; but the doggone thing was of inferior quality---Singapore made a last-minute substitution. Nonetheless, I'll be able to use it. Then I lost my new eyeball, the one which replaced my empty eye socket after that damn incident with the falcon; but I can still wear an eyepatch. And we were hit with two---count 'em---two feet of snow. I think my neighbor, old Crazy Emory, is still trapped under the white stuff, but I don't have time or energy to check on him.
So here I am. Today, wearing my eyepatch and some snowshoes, I ventured out into the surrounding blocks, screaming and yelling and swishing and cracking my new cane, inviting any neighborhood kids or adults for the caning of their lives. No one responded (except maybe a faint voice from Emory's house). I think I'll drudge down to see the new Nicholas Cage movie, "Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call: New Orleans," followed by "Sherlock Holmes." The little woman and her chick flicks will have to wait; the national zip-code directory which I gave her for Christmas should keep her busy reading.
-Old Gargoyle
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6 comments:
I think you should begin to watch Steven Segals new reality show.
"Steven Seagal: Lawman"
A reality series that follows action star Steven Seagal's adventures as a fully-commissioned deputy with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office in Louisiana.
now all i have to do is start a meth lab over there and then maybe i can get his autograph, not to mention his tv show.
Steve Seagal's new show is set in the New Orleans area? I didn't know that. That, plus the fact that I often see myself as another pudgy, scowling, skull-cracking Seagal, make me wanna watch the program. Thanks, FormerStudent#32. For your reward, you're promoted to #27.
I can't get past the subtle hilarity of seeing a celebrity like that do a reality show like this. What's next? Chuck Norris joining the Dallas sherrif's department?
I am sad to report back that I received a homily evaluation report today from an associate... the news was very grim. Apparently here in Lafayette, during a cold Christmas Eve 4:00 mass, with the church packed with eager listeners who may only hear a total of one or two sermons a year, the priest gets up and begins speaking about things all good Catholics here should do: attend mass, go to confession, receive communion, and be a loyal saints football fan! (this is no lie) he then went on to discuss the full history of the saints (unfortunately not the canonized ones). oh the poor starving souls of those leisurely church goers who only but once or twice a year make their ears available to hear the life giving words of God... what the hell is going on here?! was this some kind of twisted plot to trick more people into coming to church more often under the guise that church sermons are more like an NFL preshow? one can only imagine what lies in wait for easter... God have mercy on us all.
Well done, FormerStudent#32, for keeping a sharp eye and ear (I guess it doesn't matter which one: left or right) on your Christmas liturgy and homily. (I myself was ill and had to miss my local liturgy.)
Good, good, that you felt the frustration of insipid preaching. The American Catholic bishops for the past twenty years have quietly conducted research showing that the quality of preaching by their priests has generally been terrible, but little about it has improved.
Thus the homily at your Lafayette, Louisiana church. I see that Lafayette is in South Central-Southwest Louisiana, a region historically not known for its intellectual or academic penchant. It's understandable, then, that such a Catholic area never had the interest or will to build a regular four-year Catholic college for its young laity. (And it's understandable how the state of La, aided by its southern region, could be named the "happiest" of all fifty states in a recent survey. When you're content with good food, hunting, fishing, drinking, and football, with little concern for what happens beyond your cultural area, I guess you're gonna be sufficiently happy--ha). Thus so many priests and deacons do not have any scholarly orientation to what they're preaching, though they do have a pastoral one. Unfortunately, a pastoral one means simply repeating doctrinal principles in a general manner, while criticizing the mundane sins of the laity. Important problems and developments in the national and global Church and important advances in Biblical and historical scholarship fall to the wayside.
I did attend the homily for the liturgy of last Sunday, called Holy Family Sunday. As I feared, my homilist, instead of focusing on an interpretation and application of the gospel story (the finding of the boy Jesus in the Temple), quickly surveyed the entire Bible, showing how family life was exalted. When he reached the gospel story, he only briefly commented, "See, young people, this story tells you to be obedient to your parents." Then he ended by emphasizing how Jesus promoted holy family life, leaving me scratching my flakey head-- because in the gospels Jesus actually shows some disdain and little support for family life (for reasons which, to repeat, would be made known by the homilist if he had done any scholarly preparation).
FormerStudent, you hereby are promoted to FormerStudent#18 (you might've overlooked your previous upgrade to #27).
I"m wondering why you keep picking on good old Emory. I hear he's having a frozen winter in St. Louie.
Anonymous, what? Old Emory is still in St Louis?
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