"Fences make good neighbors"? Well, there's no fence between my farm and that of loony neighbor Emory, so you can imagine what happens. For example, he bought two tickets for the fights in Dover, walked across to my front yard and invited me to accompany him. "Seats are in the nosebleed section," he said, but I didn't care because I love boxing. Turned out the seats were two chairs placed right inside the boxing ring.
Then today I said to him, "I wonder if anyone we know has died lately."
"Let's just call the funeral home and ask," Emory says. So he phones and says, "What's playing today?"