Throw in the Towel

Speaking about actor Mickey Rourke's boxing days reminds me: People often say to me, "Hey, is it true you were a boxer? Were you any good at it?"

"Yep," I reply, "I was a boxer in my early-marriage years, and actually was named state champ of Ohio."

"Really? Were you ever knocked out?"

"Hmm, once, when I was hit by the overhead crane."

"Crane? You mean the overhead microphone in the ring?"

"No, no, the crane," I explain. "The Sherman box factory in Cleveland where I worked had a crane overhead to lift the boxes. Anyway, those heavy, open cardboard units would come rolling down the belt, and I would glue them together faster than any other worker. So they named me the boxer champion of the state two years in a row."

At that point, the persons just silently stare at me. Some want to jab, hook, or uppercut me.

-Old Gargoyle