Tuesday, November 17, 2009

I Just Can't Win

Okay, so you know I don't like dogs and cats. Not only do I not like them, their status in society baffles me. I read of people being given several YEARS in jail for harming dogs and cats. But I never read of anyone ever arrested for killing frogs, spiders, garden snakes, roaches, ants, mosquitoes, parakeets, etc. What gives? Why not? Maybe these latter animals and insects are not harmed on a large-enough scale, I thought. So I tested my theory. I walked down the blocks of the neighborhood near my farm swirling my large net, slashing my sword through the air, stomping in my hunting boots, screaming and shouting and jabbing at all the frogs, spiders, mosquitoes, ants, and so forth I could see or imagine to see---hundreds of them.

So what happened? At last I was arrested! Thank goodness, I thought, some consistency showing that these creatures were no less important than the barking, crapping, scratching, biting dogs and cats of my neighbors. But no, to my surprise, my arrest was not because I was harming these animals but because I was DISTURBING THE PEACE! I couldn't believe it! My sentence? Assigned to city park for one week to scoop dog and cat crap.

-Old Gargoyle

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