Return of The Dark Knight: Matman

This is truly a blessed day! As I've said before, it warms the hearts of all of us old teachers when some of our former students decide to pursue the academic profession. (It would also warm the hearts of us old beets-and-squash farmers if some of our former students would become farmer students.) Recall my earlier contest in which I sought readers to create a word which I secretly had in mind, a word which would be the best (in my judgment) conceptual-grammatical opposite of the word "catastrophe." A few readers submitted their contributions, which I acknowledged as tentative first placers.

But now comes a submittal by one of my ex-classroom-desk occupants, Matthew Miller, Ph.D. cand. The good Dr. Miller of Yale University not only surmised the precise word I had in mind, but backed his conclusion with an well-researched, lengthy, erudite report in which he analyzed the etymological, literary, and even eschatological and theological context for what he was convinced was the logical word: benestrophe. "Benestrophe" retains the Greek suffix of "catastrophe" while switching its prefix to Latin, thereby keeping the new word crisp, simple, parallel to "catastrophe," and remindful to the reader-listener of the now-"punned" meaning of the first word. Of course, some thought must be given to the linguistic-cultural meanings of "catastrophe" and "benestrophe," and Matthew did exactly that.

In light of his labor, I predict that future students or readers of Matt will be seriously engaged by his intellectual acumen. The prize of $1,000, the amount of which I won in an illegal poker game, is hereby sent in my name and Matt's name to Catholic Relief Services for food and medicine for the earthquake victims in Haiti, as the generous Matman would want. As we speak, little Haitian children are eating our money, moving them ever so slowly from catastrophe to their own benestrophe.