A Kid Named Oscar

When I was a kid growing Up in District 9, all I ever wanted was An Education. But every day at school those Inglourious Basterds would throw me against The Hurt Locker, and beat the beejezus out of me. And so I never graduated. My future was Up in the Air. I was young and hungry and A Serious Man, but the only work I could find was as a part-time Avatar when the circus was in town. That didn't last long, however, because early on I was hit on The Blind Side, and fell from the trapeze like Lucifer from heaven. Lucifer, though, didn't have to spend eight months in the hospital semi-recuperating.

Many years later after those unfortunate events, my Crazy Heart remained erratic and unhealthy. I had Precious little to live for, until I met the little woman. Jonka changed my life---after she insisted I change my name from Oscar.