"You have won $1,000,000!" read the letter I received in the mail this morning. It's from a business called Fred's Janitorial Services. The letter adds that I must report in person forty hours each week at their office, where I'll be paid the million at the rate of $7.50 per hour. A million dollars! Hotdamn! I'll be at Fred's this afternoon!
-Old Gargoyle
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