"Button up!" "Button your lip!" "Button (or unbutton) just one more!" "Button-down look!" It's amazing the attention which one or so little buttons can command. So when I go to the stores, I put on an overshirt which I don't tuck into my pants. But I also make sure that the shirt's buttons are misaligned so that one half of the shirt is too high and the other half is too low. This appearance makes clerks and customers regard me as "mentally challenged" (is that the current politically-correct term?), as they reach for shelf items for me, and allow me to cut to the head of the checkout line.
-Old Gargoyle
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