Thursday, May 12, 2011

I'll Change Your F to a B-

Texas is on the verge of legally allowing college students to carry handguns into their classrooms. Dozens of students, some who live in the fantasy land of violent video games, some who are angered over bad grades, some who are emotionally devastated over sour romance, some who are desperate for social recognition---and of them carrying deadly weapons---just what America's college and high-school teachers love to face each day. Isn't America great?

Hear Ye (Sob)!

Rep. John Boehner in Washington via the U.S. House and Meatloaf in New York via "Celebrity Apprentice" give new meaning to the old role called "town crier."

Monday, May 2, 2011

Like a Mighty Oak

"What's that stuff you're eating, Grandpa?" my grandson asked.

"Oakmeal. You want some?" I replied.

"Don't you mean OATmeal?" he said.

"Nope. Oatmeal is for wimps. This is OAKmeal. Try it. It's like eating a tree. It'll put hair on your chest."

"No thanks," he said as he walked away.

"Old man, you should be ashamed of yourself," the little woman then said to me.

"Yeah," I answered, "but I hate sharing my oatmeal."

Goodnight, Sweet Prince

It's just too much of a coincidence. I suspect Osama Bin Laden's location became known to the U.S. military when he insisted upon a satellite-tv installation in order to watch the recent royal wedding.