All Roads Lead to Rome

When I was a boy, I loved maps. I wanted to become a geographer or a cartologist. During stay-inside rainy-day recess in the third grade, my friend Freddie and I would assemble the 48-piece United States puzzle much faster than any of our classmates. I found, however, that as soon as a map of the world or a continent were turned upside down, I became physically disoriented, even falling onto the floor clinging onto the map for dear life. So much for future work in geography. And I refuse ever to fly to Australia.

-Old Doc