Icribums and Inphezzles

From the Tough Way To Lose Weight Department:
"Dead Guitarist Now Slimmer and Trimmer" (newspaper headline in Fresno, California about a guitarist for the Grateful Dead)

From the Unanswerable Questions Department:
"And you are how old a woman, sir?" (courtroom transcript from a lawyer questioning a woman in Lansing, Michigan)

From the What Does Illinois Have against Horse Comedy Department?:
"A judge in early July upheld that law by the Illinois Legislature which forced the nation's last operating horse-laughter facility to shut down this year." (in the Arkansas "Democrat-Gazette")

From the So THAT'S Why You Didn't Serve in the Military Department:
"So many minority youths had volunteered . . . that there was literally no room for patriotic folks like myself." (former Republican U.S. Representative Tom DeLay explaining at the 1988 G.O.P. Convention why he and vice-presidential nominee Dan Quayle did not fight in the Vietnam War)