Language 1: The Lowly Hyphen

A few years ago, before the popularity of digital photography, I was searching for a photo shop in the mall. The professionally made sign in the shop's caught my eye: "60 Minute Photos $5." "Nice," I said to myself. "I read your sign. I'd like to see the photos, please," I told the young clerk. "Which photos, sir?" she replied. "The 60 photos," I replied. "You have 60 photos you want to develop?" she asked. "No, I want to look at the 60 photos, the 60 small photos you mention in your window sign," I said. "Er, you have 60 small photos? You have them with you?" she responded. "No, miss, I don't have any pictures with me. I want to see the 60 small photos for $5, which you're advertising," I said with more earnestness.

Now she felt bothered: "What small photos?" I grit my teeth: "The 60 miNUTE photos right here in your sign!" She quickly answered, "Oh, no, the sign says we'll process photos in 60 MINutes---one hour---for $5. You can leave your film here, and return for it in an hour." Arrggh! "No, your sign doesn't say that," I angrily retorted, "It says 60 miNUTE photos for $5! If it meant processing done in 60 MINutes it would have a hyphen between '60' and 'minute'!" Now, this is something you apparently do not explain to a younger person raised in the linguistic looseness of the past couple of decades. "Oh, whatever!" was her reaction as I grabbed her pen, and quickly added a hyphen where it belonged on the sign.

Later in the evening, I drove to an office-supplies store. As I was entering it, I noticed that the closed restaurant next door had a small drive-through on its side and a large sign on the window there reading "Take Out Window." Still seething with anger from the photo shop earlier in the day, I
did exactly that: I found a rock in the parking lot, threw it through that window, then went about my business in the office-supplies store. Two days later, I had to return to that store the item I bought. At that moment, I glanced at the restaurant next door. Its window had been repaired, and the sign on it now read, "Take-Out Window." I slept better that night.

-Old Doc