I've been despondent lately, worried about the economy, the environment, post-Katrina New Orleans, the famine in Sudan, Michael Jackson, etc. In fact, this week, as I was driving on the outskirts of the city, I felt so overwhelmed by these worries, I had to stop on the shoulder of the road to try to recover. It was then that I noticed a large billboard to my right, which read, "Need Help? Call on Jesus. 800-355-7912." The little woman and I haven't yet chosen a local church to join, so I said to myself, "Well, why not? Even if it's an evangelical-fundamentalist one, I think I can benefit from this just this one time." So I called the number on my cell phone.
The woman who answered quickly asked me my name and location, then told me to wait for the promised help. After only five minutes on the phone, I was startled by an Hispanic guy who pulled up in a tow truck next to me saying, "Allo, Senor Gargoyle. I'm Hay-zoos [Jesus]. You called for help?"
-Old Gargoyle
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