Esoteric Optimism

"[My] Omega Point Theory allows the key concepts of the Judeo-Christian-Islamic tradition now to be modern physics concepts: theology is nothing but physical cosmology based on the assumption that life as a whole is immortal. A consequence of this assumption is the resurrection of everyone who has ever lived to eternal life. Physics has now absorbed theology; the divorce between science and religion, between reason and emotion, is over. . . . Science can now offer precisely the consolations in facing death that religion once offered. Religion is now part of science." (from Frank Tipler, "The Physics of Immortality"; Tipler is professor of mathematical physics at Tulane University and an atheist)

Winter Blues and Whites

My part-time winter job as a chimneysweep hasn't been going well. Just too much blasted snow on the roofs. In addition, of the few houses on which I was hired to work, four had their chimneys jammed not merely with soot but with items such as boxes of shoes, purses, etc. from the housewives who were hiding stuff from their husbands; three other chimneys were packed with old fireworks, some used but some dangerously still alive; and two others actually had in them the dead bodies of distant relatives who had come home for a surprise visit dressed like Santa Claus and with a chimney descent planned.

On the other hand, Seine is enjoying some good news despite its snowstorms. It seems that Quebec City, which celebrates its annual Bonhomme Winter Festival, envied the amount of snow and ice which my Delaware region has been receiving. Those wacky Frenchmen bought tons of the white stuff from us for their festival. Neighbor Emory and I almost broke our backs helping shovel the precious payload for deportation, and we made ourselves a little pocket money. Looks as if I won't have to go choking down any chimneys for a while.

Mirror, Mirror on the Hand

A delightful joke I just read:

A young woman was speeding in her sports car when she was stopped by a policewoman. "Please show me your driver's license," the policewoman said to the driver.

"Yes, M'am. What does it look like?" the woman driver replied as she began fumbling in her purse.

"It's rectangular and it has your picture on it," the cop answered.

The driver kept digging in her purse until she found a small rectangular mirror. "Here," she said, giving it to the policewoman.

The cop looked in the mirror, then said, "Okay, Miss, you can go. I didn't realize you too are a police officer."

Yes, I'm afraid so: both women were bleached blonds.

Check Your Junk at the Door

Well, I guess it was inevitable. After four months of attending the Hoarders Anonymous meetings at the vacant storefront building on main street in Seine, I can longer do so. It seems that after a dozen meetings there, members cannot enter the large room. Why not? You guessed it. They have overcrowded it with a four-foot-high pile of stuff resulting from all the crap they've brought to the meetings and deposited there.

Doctor Who

"Upon the death of Pope Pius XII [in 1958], his personal physician, the quack, Dr. Galeazzi-Lisi, presented himself to the dean of the Sacred College of Cardinals, the French Cardinal Eugene Tisserant . . . and obtained permission to treat the late pontiff's remains. In an uncharacteristically uncritical move, Tisserant agreed to allow the physician to spray the papal corpse with a compound of resins, oils, and other chemicals which were supposed to produce a 'deoxidizing process' and prevent decay. The results were disastrous. The body decayed almost immediately and such a stench arose that the casket had to be lined with cellophane.

"During the transfer of the body back to Rome [from Castel Gadalfo] the hearse had to make repeated stops as its drivers were overcome by the odor emanating from the casket. During a stop at the St. John Lateran Basilica for a brief service, the seals on the casket exploded loudly just as the vice-gerent of Rome, the future Cardinal Luigi Traglia, intoned the ancient prayer, . . . 'May the angels lead you into paradise.' The pressure from the pope's badly embalmed body had blown the seals. Once the body reached the Vatican, artists were summoned to hastily make up the deteriorating remains so that they might be laid out in state." (from John-Peter Pham, "Heirs of the Fisherman")

We'll Need a Larger Lab

A news report says that a team of six scientists in Japan claims that, using d.n.a. from the recently excavated remains of an ancient wooly mammoth, it will be able to create a living wooly mammoth in five or six years. Another report says that, coincidentally, those same scientists are the only six remaining persons in the world who never have seen "Jurassiac Park."

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I'm not much of a reader of blogs, but I do recommend one for its mix of philosophical and practical wisdom: www.mainstreetmuse.blogspot.com.