No, They Don't Have Souls

Dogs and air shows---what nuisances! I see that another pilot has accidentally crashed his airplane practicing for an air show in Illinois. His defective plane could've just as well landed the next day on the people watching it from the ground. Why does the law continue allowing onlookers to be so endangered?

And a medium-size city in Texas, which has tens of thousands of poor or homeless people in its central district, is considering spending ten-million dollars---that's MILLION---of public money---that's PUBLIC taxpayers' money---to build a state-of-the-art shelter for---you guessed it---dogs.

I'd like to pass a law requiring pilots of airplanes in air shows to pack at least three stray, non-parachuted dogs into the back seat of their aircraft before leaving the ground.

Old Man with His Cane

"What's wrong, old man, why aren't you eating your breakfast?" the little woman asked me this morning.

"I'm on the horns of a dilemma," I replied.

"Ouch! That must hurt," she said.

"Very funny. I opened this can of cane syrup---you know, the heavy, dark kind which looks like, and even at times tastes like, motor oil---the kind I really like. It's from a box of cans sent to me at Christmas by a former student. Anyway, I was thinking of how many sugar canes it took, how many hours of cultivation it took, sweating in the hot harvest sun, to make this one can of syrup."

"So?" Jonka asked.

"So I'm pondering the ethical implication of pouring pure, sweet, natural, handmade cane syrup onto frozen, cardboard Eggo waffles."

OLive Oil

Bare with me if my thoughts are jumbled and jumbled my word are incorrrect. I just havnt' been sleepin much lately. In fact Im' up 24/7 with my eyes pealed to the tv. As a ex-Lousianian, I think it's my duty to my new follow Delawarans to report to them aboot the gulf oil spill. So i constantly watch the cable-tv chunnel which shows continous reel-time pictures of the underwater spill.

Call of the Mild

You know what you don't want to do? You don't want to spend six days and nights in a remote log cabin in the thick forest and rugged terrain of Moose Jaw, Saskatchtewan, with no mail, phone, radio, tv, air conditioning, nor even electricity and running water, and with no one with you except your spouse---and call that a vacation. Take my word for it.

Probably Has a Nice Pension Plan

"God Hinting at Retirement" reads a newspaper headline from "The Onion." Dear God, we can only hope and pray it's so!

Only Once a Year (Thank Goodness)

Attention! Let it be known that today is Appreciate the Little Woman Day! Take it seriously. (Posted by order of Jonka.)

Who Was Insulted?

Not much by my neighbor, Emory, surprises me anymore. We both like birds. I named my parrot Holy Ghost, and he gave his parrot the "imaginative" name of Polly. So I was visiting him the other day. He went to his backyard shed to grab some of his homemade beer and meth. I was in his living room stretched out in his easy chair and half-dozing. I swear that his parrot, perched right next to me, then crackled, "Aaawwkk, Polly want a role model."